What Actually Happens in Therapy? A London Therapist Explains

Some people ask me: what actually happens in therapy? What does the therapist do, and what am I expected to do as the client? They're really good questions. For many people, therapy is an unknown, sometimes intimidating world, and even once you're persuaded of the benefits of talking to a professional, you may still have reservations. So here's a brief attempt to demystify therapy.

I offer a free consultation to answer your questions

Some people want to go straight to a first proper session not least because there is no obligation to commit to subsequent sessions. They are happy to invest in a full 50 minute session to discuss their main issues and problems in some depth. However I offer a free 15-minute consultation, or chat, really for those who are not yet 100% sure. This is an opportunity to fire away with all their questions and be reassured on any concerns, and a chance to get a sense of me as a person.

I think it's important to check out a therapist's qualifications, career background and life experience. But you also need to feel comfortable in their presence, not just confident in their expertise. The fit has to be right. We're all different: we gel with some people and not with others, and I need to be sure I'm the right person for you. Some people come with very specific problems, and I may suggest they consult a specialist.

If you're interested after that call, I'll send you a written agreement between therapist and client. It covers practical points like fee level and the notice required to cancel a session. There's no rush at all, take your time, come back with any questions, and if you're happy, we'll go ahead with our first session.

Your first session - tailored to your needs

That first session is largely about me getting to know you better. Many people pour their hearts out, often because they've pent up their feelings for so long. I like to think it's also because I provide a safe, supportive environment that's conducive to a free expression of thoughts and ideas. It's like a release valve, because it isn't good for you, mentally, or arguably physically, to lock those feelings up for too long.

Other people are less forthcoming, and that's absolutely fine. I'll gently ask some questions, or sometimes use a more structured questionnaire. All the time I'll be listening intently and - as I am an integrative therapist - working out which therapeutic approaches would suit us best in our later sessions.

What being an integrative therapist means

I'm an integrative therapist. All that means is I've studied a wide range of approaches, including person-centred, gestalt, transactional analysis, existential and psychodynamic therapy, to name just a few. Some therapists choose one approach and use it for every client. I draw on all of them to suit the needs of my client and the issues they are grappling with. I tailor my approach to the unique individual sitting in front of me.

This is about you

This is all about you, not your partner, your mother, your father, your son or daughter, and certainly not me. It's your time and space to work on the issues that matter most to you.

Some people still fear they'll be subject to a kind of character analysis, forced to confront hard truths, a throwback to an old image of cold, clinical psychoanalysis. My approach is quite the opposite. I build a trusting, supportive, respectful relationship, and we work as a team. You're the expert in yourself, but we often need someone else to help you access that knowledge and make sense of it.

I may guide, nudge, probe or gently challenge, but only at a pace you're comfortable with, and never to judge. What we want is to work together to bring more clarity, contentment, balance and a bit more joy into your life.

Taking the first step

I don't underestimate how daunting reaching out can be, but it's a sign you're already making progress. If you'd like to talk, please do get in touch by text, email or phone to arrange your free consultation, and I'd be delighted to respond.